Calm-down ideas for kids with big feelings

Stay close and keep your own voice low and slow. Name what you see: “You're really angry.” Then help the body calm down: one slow breath out together, a squeeze, a jump, a song. Save the talking for later, when the storm has passed. The four steps at the top say more.

It's a noticing game: find 3 things you can see, listen for 3 sounds, and move 3 parts of your body. The rule comes from Rethink Mental Illness, a UK charity. With young children we play it as a game, and it's idea 8 on this page.

Bubbles. Blowing real soap bubbles makes a long, gentle breath out with no explaining at all. Without bubbles, try the rain-cloud breath: in for 4, out for 6, slowly. A few breaths are plenty, and nobody needs to hold their breath. There are eight more on our breathing exercises page.

Very often, yes. Tantrums happen most between ages 1 and 3, says the American Academy of Pediatrics, and calming down is a skill children build slowly, with practice and with us. If the feelings often end in someone getting hurt, last for weeks, or keep your child from school or play, talk to your pediatrician: see When to ask for help.

Name feelings out loud in everyday moments, your own too: “I'm cross because we're late.” And use stories. Stop on a page and ask how the character feels, and how they can tell. In Foo's Big Emotions, Foo's face changes from page to page, so the question comes easily. Our feelings chart has nine of his faces to print.

It's the idea that “I can't do it” becomes “I can't do it yet”. The book's word swap says it like this: I’m not good at it YET, but I can practice and I will be soon. The studies on growth mindset found small effects. We still like the habit: it's a kind way to talk to yourself when something is hard.

From about 3, with a grown-up: pick a card and do it together. As your child grows, let them choose more on their own. The cards are made for ages 3 to 8, and the two blank cards are for ideas your child makes up.

Anger is a normal feeling: Blue in the book feels like a blue volcano, ready to erupt. Talk to your pediatrician, family doctor or school counselor if angry outbursts often end in someone getting hurt, last for weeks, or keep your child from school or play. The American Academy of Pediatrics says to check with your pediatrician when a child seems unusually aggressive for longer than a few weeks. More in When to ask for help.

Some of them can help a child feel calmer in the moment: a slow breath, a safe person, or the Let it go balloons for the things they can't control. If worries last for weeks, or keep your child from school or play, please talk to your pediatrician or school counselor: see When to ask for help.

Yes. Every card and sheet on this page is free for home and classroom use, with no sign-up and no email. Each one comes in US Letter and A4, in color and in black and white. To share them, please share the link to this page, not the file.