Clean dinosaur jokes · ages 3 to 10
65 silly jokes, and the true fact behind every one.
A child who laughs at a dinosaur joke nearly always wants to know MORE, right away. Was that tooth really as long as a banana? Did it really have only two fingers?
So every joke on this page comes with its true bit, one real fact, checked, with the place we found it. Read the joke, wait for the giggle, then tap. The little ones' jokes are silly pictures, no puns. The big kids get the word play.
Joke of the day
No. 1
What does a T. rex say when you ask for a hug?
"Come closer. Closer. No, CLOSER!"
The true bit: A T. rex's arms were tiny next to the rest of its body, and each hand had just two fingers.
Find it on the pageA new joke every day. Come back tomorrow!
How to tell a joke
Read the joke out loud, slowly, and stop after the question.
Wait for a guess. A wrong guess is often funnier than the real answer.
Tap “Tell me!” Then read the true bit together. That's the part they'll repeat at dinner.
For little ones (3 to 5)
Silly pictures and silly situations: a T. rex who can't reach for a hug, a head in the garage. Point at the picture and laugh together.
For big kids (6 to 10)
Puns and word play. After the laugh, ask them why it's funny. Then ask them to make up one of their own.
Who's laughing?
T. rex · 7 jokes3 for little ones
The king of the dinosaurs, with teeth as long as bananas and very short arms. Tease it from far away.
What does a T. rex say when you ask for a hug?
"Come closer. Closer. No, CLOSER!"
The true bit: A T. rex's arms were tiny next to the rest of its body, and each hand had just two fingers. (American Museum of Natural History)
How does a T. rex give a high five?
It can't. It gives a high two!
The true bit: T. rex had only two fingers on each hand. (American Museum of Natural History)
How many bites does a T. rex need to eat a whole birthday cake?
One. And then it eats the table!
The true bit: Tyrannosaurus rex was so big and strong, it could eat up to 230 kilograms (507 pounds) of meat and bones in one bite! (From our book Dinosaurs Are Back)
Why was eight T. rex's favorite number?
Because it ate, and ate, and ate!
The true bit: Its biggest teeth were up to 20 cm long. That's 8 inches, so eight really was its number! (Natural History Museum, London)
What's as long as a banana, but you should never try to peel it?
A T. rex tooth!
The true bit: T. rex had about 60 teeth, and the biggest were up to 20 cm (8 inches) long. That's about as long as a banana! (Natural History Museum, London)
What do you call a T. rex showing off its tiny arm muscles?
Tyrannosaurus FLEX!
The true bit: T. rex's arms were short, but they had strong muscles. (Natural History Museum, London)
Where can you spot T. rex's closest living cousins?
At your bird feeder!
The true bit: Birds evolved from small meat-eating dinosaurs, the same group T. rex belonged to. So every bird you see is a living dinosaur! (Natural History Museum, London)
Triceratops · 5 jokes3 for little ones
Three horns and a head the size of a small car. Spike, the hero of our book Dinosaurs Are Back, is one.
What do you call a Triceratops that never, ever gives up?
A Try-try-try-ceratops!
The true bit: "Triceratops" means "three-horned face": one horn on its nose and two above its eyes. (National Geographic Kids)
Why did Triceratops help build the treehouse?
It brought its own saw: its nose!
The true bit: Triceratops had a nose horn so sharp, it could probably cut through wood, and a head the size of a small car! (From our book Dinosaurs Are Back)
Why doesn't Triceratops need a coat rack?
It has three hooks right on its head!
The true bit: "Triceratops" means "three-horned face". It had one horn on its nose and two above its eyes. (National Geographic Kids)
Where does Triceratops park its head?
In the garage!
The true bit: Triceratops had a nose horn so sharp, it could probably cut through wood, and a head the size of a small car! (From our book Dinosaurs Are Back)
What did Triceratops say when T. rex invited it over for dinner?
"Thanks! Um... who's on the menu?"
The true bit: It lived at the same time as its biggest enemy, the mighty Tyrannosaurus rex. (From our book Dinosaurs Are Back)
Stegosaurus · 6 jokes2 for little ones
Plates on its back, spikes on its tail, and a tiny head, like a walnut.
Why did Stegosaurus never need an umbrella?
It came with its own roof!
The true bit: "Stegosaurus" means "roof lizard". The first scientist to study it thought its plates lay flat on its back, and that's how it got its name. (Natural History Museum, London)
Why did the squirrel follow Stegosaurus around all day?
It thought its head was a walnut!
The true bit: Stegosaurus was a big, spiky dinosaur with a tiny head, like a walnut. (From our book Dinosaurs Are Back)
What did Stegosaurus say when a hungry dinosaur crept up behind it?
"Don't make me turn around!"
The true bit: But don't be fooled! Its plates and tail were strong weapons that helped protect it from predators. (From our book Dinosaurs Are Back)
Why did Stegosaurus miss T. rex's birthday party?
It was about 80 million years early!
The true bit: More time passed between Stegosaurus and T. rex than between T. rex and you! (Natural History Museum, London)
Why did the silly nickname for Stegosaurus's tail spikes last so long?
Because it stuck!
The true bit: The spikes on a Stegosaurus tail are nicknamed the "thagomizer". The name began as a joke in a cartoon, and scientists liked the joke so much that many of them use it too. (Smithsonian Magazine)
Why didn't Stegosaurus ever have to mow the lawn?
There wasn't any grass yet!
The true bit: When Stegosaurus was alive, grass hadn't appeared yet. Plant-eaters munched ferns, horsetails and conifers instead. (U.S. Geological Survey)
Brachiosaurus · 5 jokes3 for little ones
The long neck that ate from the treetops, all day long.
Why did Brachiosaurus's mom never have to say "eat your greens"?
It never stopped eating them!
The true bit: Even though Brachiosaurus had only 50 teeth or less, it could eat 100 to 400 kilograms (220 to 881 pounds) of plants every day! (From our book Dinosaurs Are Back)
Why did nobody ever tell Brachiosaurus to chew with its mouth closed?
It didn't chew at all!
The true bit: Brachiosaurus swallowed its leaves whole, without chewing. (Natural History Museum, London)
What's the best thing about having a Brachiosaurus for a friend?
It can always get your kite out of the tree!
The true bit: Its long neck helped it reach the highest leaves on trees, where the best food was. (From our book Dinosaurs Are Back)
Why is Brachiosaurus like a jigsaw puzzle from a yard sale?
Some of the pieces are missing!
The true bit: Nobody has found a complete Brachiosaurus skeleton, so scientists borrow from its African cousin, Giraffatitan. (Natural History Museum, London)
Why did the giraffe suddenly feel small?
It met a Brachiosaurus!
The true bit: Brachiosaurus's long front legs tilted its body up, so it could reach leaves high in the trees, a bit like a giraffe. (Natural History Museum, London and here)
Velociraptor · 5 jokes2 for little ones
Small, like a big turkey, with feathers, and very, very fast.
What's the difference between a Velociraptor and a big turkey?
About 70 million years. Oh, and the turkey is way slower!
The true bit: Velociraptors were small, like a big turkey, but very fast! They could run up to 65 kilometers per hour, faster than most humans. That's about 40 miles! (From our book Dinosaurs Are Back)
Why did the real Velociraptor walk out of the dinosaur movie?
They made it twice as big and forgot its feathers!
The true bit: Movie raptors are about twice the size of real ones. And real Velociraptors had feathers: scientists found the bumps on an arm bone where they were attached. (Natural History Museum, London; American Museum of Natural History)
Why is a Velociraptor always first in the lunch line?
Nobody can catch it!
The true bit: They could run up to 65 kilometers per hour, faster than most humans. That's about 40 miles! (From our book Dinosaurs Are Back)
How do you get a Velociraptor to tell you its secrets?
Bring snacks!
The true bit: Velociraptor was a meat-eater. It probably ate lizards, small mammals and eggs. (National Geographic Kids)
Why did the Velociraptor go to the desert for lunch?
For a sand-wich!
The true bit: The first Velociraptor was found in the Gobi Desert, in Mongolia, in 1923. (Natural History Museum, London)
Spinosaurus · 4 jokes2 for little ones
Even bigger than T. rex, with a sail on its back and fish on the menu.
What did Spinosaurus say when it met T. rex?
"Aww, look at the little guy!"
The true bit: Spinosaurus was even bigger than Tyrannosaurus rex! (From our book Dinosaurs Are Back)
Why did Spinosaurus have a sail on its back?
So it could go sailing without a boat!
The true bit: The sail on its back was about 1.5 m (5 feet) tall, and scientists still argue about what it was for. What do YOU think? (Natural History Museum, London)
What did Spinosaurus say after a big fish dinner?
"That was fin-tastic!"
The true bit: Its teeth were smooth and cone-shaped, and its narrow snout was great for trapping slippery fish. (Natural History Museum, London)
Where does Spinosaurus keep its money?
In the river bank!
The true bit: Spinosaurus ate mostly fish, and its fossils have been found in Egypt and Morocco, in North Africa. (Natural History Museum, London)
Dilophosaurus · 3 jokes1 for little ones
Two crests on its head, and a spitting story it never earned.
What does Dilophosaurus use to make its head crests shine?
Nail polish!
The true bit: Its two head crests were probably covered in the same stuff as your fingernails, and may have been for showing off. (Natural History Museum, London)
Why was Dilophosaurus grumpy after watching a dinosaur movie?
They gave it a frill and made it spit poison. It never had either!
The true bit: Some people think it was poisonous, but there's no evidence for that. (From our book Dinosaurs Are Back)
What did Dilophosaurus order at the restaurant?
Fish and chips. Hold the chips!
The true bit: Its jaws suggest it probably ate fish, but it was still a carnivore. (From our book Dinosaurs Are Back)
Apatosaurus · 5 jokes2 for little ones
A giant as long as two school buses. And no, it isn't a Brontosaurus.
Why did the museum's Apatosaurus look so confused?
It was wearing somebody else's head!
The true bit: For 45 years, from 1934 to 1979, a famous museum skeleton of Apatosaurus wore the wrong head! (National Geographic Kids)
Why do people keep mixing up Apatosaurus and Brontosaurus?
Apatosaurus means "deceptive lizard". It's been fooling people from the start!
The true bit: You might also hear it called Brontosaurus, but they're actually two different dinosaurs. (From our book Dinosaurs Are Back)
How do you take a photo of a whole Apatosaurus?
Step back. Keep going. Keep going. KEEP GOING!
The true bit: Apatosaurus was a giant dinosaur that could grow up to 23 meters (75 feet) long! (From our book Dinosaurs Are Back)
Why doesn't Apatosaurus ride the school bus?
It's as long as two of them!
The true bit: Apatosaurus was a giant dinosaur that could grow up to 23 meters (75 feet) long! It took several years to grow that big. (From our book Dinosaurs Are Back)
What did Apatosaurus's tail say to the buzzing flies?
"CRACK! Buzz off!"
The true bit: Its long, thin tail may have worked like a whip. (Natural History Museum, London)
Carnotaurus · 5 jokes3 for little ones
The meat-eating bull: two horns, fast feet and remarkably short arms.
Why did the cows run away from Carnotaurus?
Its name means "meat-eating bull"!
The true bit: It had two horns on top of its head, like a bull. (Natural History Museum, London)
Why doesn't Carnotaurus need a fork?
It swallows dinner in one gulp!
The true bit: It was one of the fastest dinosaurs, capable of swallowing its prey in a single gulp! (From our book Dinosaurs Are Back)
Why did Carnotaurus sit out "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes"?
It couldn't reach any of them!
The true bit: Carnotaurus was a fast, meat-eating dinosaur with remarkably short arms. (From our book Dinosaurs Are Back)
Why is Carnotaurus the hide-and-seek champion?
Scientists have only ever found one!
The true bit: Only one Carnotaurus skeleton has ever been found. It was dug up in Argentina in 1984. (Wikipedia)
Why is Carnotaurus no good at tickling?
It has no feathers!
The true bit: Fossil skin shows that Carnotaurus had scales over much of its body, and no feathers have ever been found. (Natural History Museum, London)
Ankylosaurus · 5 jokes3 for little ones
Armored like a knight, with a club on the end of its tail.
Why did the knight want to be friends with Ankylosaurus?
They had matching outfits!
The true bit: Imagine a dinosaur as armored as a knight and as powerful as a tank: that was Ankylosaurus! (From our book Dinosaurs Are Back)
What's Ankylosaurus's favorite sport?
Golf. It brings its own club!
The true bit: But its secret weapon was its tail club, which made it even more powerful! (From our book Dinosaurs Are Back)
What did T. rex say after it tried to bite an Ankylosaurus?
"OW! My teeth!"
The true bit: Ankylosaurus lived at the same time as T. rex, and its back was covered in bony armor. (Natural History Museum, London)
Why is Ankylosaurus like a flat-pack wardrobe?
Nobody can agree how the pieces go together!
The true bit: Nobody has ever found a complete Ankylosaurus skeleton, so nobody knows exactly how its armor was arranged. (Natural History Museum, London)
What sound does an Ankylosaurus make when it sits down?
CLANK!
The true bit: Its body was covered in bony plates, and its name means "fused lizard". (Natural History Museum, London)
Pteranodon · 3 jokes1 for little ones
It flew over the dinosaurs' heads, but it wasn't one of them. It was a pterosaur.
Why wasn't Pteranodon allowed into the dinosaur club?
It isn't a dinosaur! (It flew in anyway.)
The true bit: Pteranodon was a pterosaur, a flying reptile that lived at the same time as the dinosaurs. It wasn't a dinosaur at all. (Natural History Museum, London)
Why did Pteranodon never go to the dentist?
It didn't have any teeth!
The true bit: Its name means "wing without tooth". It had no teeth at all, and fossils show that it ate fish. (Field Museum; Natural History Museum, London)
What's the only thing wrong with calling Pteranodon a "flying dinosaur"?
The "dinosaur" part!
The true bit: Pterosaurs weren't dinosaurs. The real flying dinosaurs are birds! (Natural History Museum, London and here)
Birds, eggs and bones · 7 jokes2 for little ones
Some dinosaurs are still here. Look out of the window.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens hadn't been invented yet!
The true bit: Trick question! Chickens ARE dinosaurs. Birds evolved from small meat-eating dinosaurs, so every bird alive today is a dinosaur. (Natural History Museum, London)
What do you call a dinosaur that goes "cluck, cluck"?
A chicken!
The true bit: Birds are living dinosaurs, and at least 11,000 kinds of birds are alive today. (Natural History Museum, London)
What do you call a dinosaur that's fast asleep?
A dino-snore!
The true bit: "Dinosaur" means "terrible lizard". A scientist called Richard Owen made up the word in 1842. (Natural History Museum, London)
What do you call a dinosaur that knows lots and lots of words?
A thesaurus!
The true bit: Real dinosaur names are built from old Greek and Latin words: "saurus" means lizard, "tri" means three and "rex" means king. (American Museum of Natural History)
How do you say "I love you" in dinosaur?
"RAWR!"
The true bit: Nobody knows exactly what dinosaurs sounded like, because the soft body parts that make sounds almost never became fossils. Scientists look at their closest living relatives, birds and crocodiles, for clues. (Smithsonian Magazine)
What's the smallest thing about the biggest dinosaur?
Its egg!
The true bit: A titanosaur, one of the biggest animals ever to walk the Earth, hatched from an egg about the size of a grapefruit. (Natural History Museum, London)
What do you call a paleontologist who sleeps all day?
Lazy bones!
The true bit: A paleontologist is a scientist who studies fossils: bones, teeth, footprints and even dinosaur eggs. (American Museum of Natural History)
Knock-knock · 5 jokes1 for little ones
A few dinosaurs are at the door. You know what to say.
Knock knock.Who's there?Egg.Egg who?
Egg-cited to meet you! I just hatched!
The true bit: Dinosaur eggs can turn into fossils, just like bones and teeth. (American Museum of Natural History)
Knock knock.Who's there?Raptor.Raptor who?
Raptor present yet? The party starts soon!
The true bit: Velociraptors were small, like a big turkey, but very fast! (From our book Dinosaurs Are Back)
Knock knock.Who's there?Dilopho.Dilopho who?
Dilophosaurus! Don't worry, I don't spit!
The true bit: Some people think it was poisonous, but there's no evidence for that. (From our book Dinosaurs Are Back)
Knock knock.Who's there?Bronto.Bronto who?
Brontosaurus? No! I'm Apatosaurus. Everybody mixes us up!
The true bit: You might also hear it called Brontosaurus, but they're actually two different dinosaurs. (From our book Dinosaurs Are Back)
Knock knock.Who's there?Tank.Tank who?
You're welcome! Love, Ankylosaurus.
The true bit: Imagine a dinosaur as armored as a knight and as powerful as a tank: that was Ankylosaurus! (From our book Dinosaurs Are Back)
Free, no sign-up
Eight cards on a page, each with its dinosaur. The answer is printed upside down, so the card works on its own: they read the joke, guess, then turn it round. The true bit sits along the bottom. Put one in a lunchbox, tape one to the fridge, or hand out a pile at a dinosaur birthday party.
Free for home, classroom and library use. Please share the link to this page rather than the file.
All 65 dinosaur jokes
65 cards · 9 pages
Picture jokes for little ones
28 cards · 4 pages
The best part
Every joke on this page started as a fact. You can make one the same way, in three steps:
Pick a dinosaur (or any animal) you know well.
Find a word hiding inside its name, or a sound it makes. Tri-ceratops has “try” in it. A sleeping dinosaur is a dino-SNORE.
Add one true fact. Stegosaurus had a tiny head, like a walnut. So who would follow it around? A squirrel!
What the research says
The research on children and jokes is small, and most of it is about school-age kids. This is what it does show, and nothing more.
Even toddlers know a joke from a mistake. Two and three year olds make up their own jokes, mostly silly names and silly pictures. That's why the little ones' jokes here are pictures, not puns.
Puns come later, and that's normal. Most 4 and 5 year olds laugh at a pun before they can explain it. Explaining the joke together is part of the fun.
Double meanings are good thinking practice. In small classroom studies, 7 to 9 year olds who talked through joking riddles and words with two meanings got better at understanding what they read.
Kids want books that make them laugh. When children pick a book, “it makes me laugh” is the top thing they look for.
Scholastic Kids and Family Reading Report, 2015; 2019 edition
Questions
The book · ages 6 to 10
Spike is a young Triceratops who never gives up. Follow him past ten dinosaurs, some friendly and some not, then scan the pages with a phone or tablet and each dinosaur stands in your room.
