Clean animal jokes · ages 3 to 10
84 silly jokes with pictures, and a true fact for each one.
Every animal on this page is doing something real, told sideways. A pig that forgot its sunscreen is the joke. A pig rolling in mud BECAUSE mud works as sunscreen is the true bit, and it's waiting right under the punchline.
Pick an animal, read the joke out loud, then tap. There's a switch further down for little ones: it keeps the picture jokes and hides the puns.
Joke of the day
No. 1
Why does a cow chew her lunch twice?
She liked it so much the first time!
The true bit: A cow has one big stomach with four parts, and she brings her grass back up to chew it again.
Find it on the pageA new joke every day. Come back tomorrow!
Before you start
Say the animal first. Little ones picture the cow before the joke even starts.
Do the voice. Nobody tells a goat joke in a normal voice. MAA.
Tap “Tell me!” Then read the true bit. It's the part that turns a giggle into a question.
For little ones (3 to 5)
A dog signing its name with its nose, a chick asking if breakfast is ready. Point at the picture and do the animal sounds together.
For big kids (6 to 10)
Puns, from MOO-vies to OINK-ment. Then the hard question: which animal would be the WORST at telling jokes, and why?
Who's laughing?
On the farm · 21 jokes11 for little ones
Cows, chickens, pigs and a goat who can't stop butting in. The farm is our favorite place for a giggle.
Why does a cow chew her lunch twice?
She liked it so much the first time!
The true bit: A cow has one big stomach with four parts, and she brings her grass back up to chew it again. (Mississippi State University Extension)
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work!
The true bit: Cows and bulls can both grow horns, but some kinds of cattle are born without any. (Smithsonian's National Zoo)
Where do cows go on a Friday night?
To the MOO-vies!
The true bit: Young cows often have a best friend. When they are taken away from the herd, they stay calmer with their favorite buddy than with another cow they know. (University of Northampton (McLennan, 2013))
Why did the chick knock on the inside of its egg?
It wanted to know if breakfast was ready!
The true bit: A chick starts peeping inside its egg about a day before it hatches, then chips its way out with a tiny "egg tooth". (Penn State Extension)
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide!
The true bit: Chickens are living dinosaurs. Birds are the only dinosaurs still alive today, and T. rex was one of their cousins. (Natural History Museum, London)
Why doesn't a chicken need a toothbrush?
It doesn't have any teeth!
The true bit: Chickens have no teeth. They swallow tiny stones, called grit, that help a strong tummy muscle grind up their food. (Poultry Extension)
Why did the pig roll in the mud?
It forgot its sunscreen!
The true bit: Pigs can barely sweat, so a mud bath is how they keep cool, and it works as sunscreen too. (RSPCA)
What does a pig put on a scraped knee?
OINK-ment!
The true bit: A pig's tough snout is made for digging. Pigs push it into the dirt to find roots and bugs to eat. (San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance; RSPCA)
Why did the horse stop in the middle of the road?
Somebody shouted "HAY!"
The true bit: Horses can sleep standing up. They lock their legs so they don't fall over, and lie down only for deep sleep. (Encyclopaedia Britannica)
What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
A little hoarse!
The true bit: Horses talk with whinnies, nickers, snorts and squeals, and each sound means something different. (Horses Extension)
What do sheep count when they can't fall asleep?
People!
The true bit: Sheep are great at faces. They can remember the faces of about 50 other sheep, and they can even learn to recognize people. (Nature (Kendrick, 2001); University of Cambridge)
Where do sheep go for a haircut?
To the BAA-BAA shop!
The true bit: Most farm sheep have wool that keeps growing, so they need a haircut, called shearing, at least once a year. (Maryland Small Ruminant Page)
Why don't goats eat tin cans?
They can never find the can opener!
The true bit: Goats are curious and taste-test all sorts of things, but they only eat plants, not tin cans. Their favorites are leaves and bushes. (Zoo Atlanta; Alabama Cooperative Extension)
Why did the goat get sent out of class?
It kept butting in!
The true bit: Baby goats are called kids. Goats love to play, jump and head-butt. (Zoo Atlanta)
Why did the duck bring an umbrella?
It didn't need it. It just wanted to look fancy!
The true bit: Ducks spread oil from a gland near their tail over their feathers, which makes them waterproof. (Missouri Department of Conservation)
What time do ducks wake up?
At the QUACK of dawn!
The true bit: A duck can sleep with one eye open while half its brain rests. Ducks on the edge of a sleeping group keep watch. (Scientific American)
Why doesn't a rooster need an alarm clock?
It IS the alarm clock!
The true bit: Roosters have a body clock inside them, so they crow just before dawn even when they can't see the sky. (National Geographic; Nagoya University)
Why do donkeys hate rainy days?
They don't have a raincoat!
The true bit: A donkey's coat isn't waterproof, so donkeys need a shelter when it rains. Horses mind the rain much less. (The Donkey Sanctuary; University of Portsmouth)
Why did the turkey's face go red?
Somebody told it a joke!
The true bit: A male turkey's bare head can change color, from red to white to blue, when he gets excited. (Pennsylvania Game Commission; National Wild Turkey Federation)
Why did the farmer ask the goose to guard the farm?
The dog wanted a day off!
The true bit: Geese are so loud and bossy that people have used them as guards for thousands of years. (National Geographic)
What did the llama say when it was invited on a trip?
"Alpaca my bag!"
The true bit: Llamas hum softly to each other. (US Cooperative Extension)
Pets · 11 jokes6 for little ones
The animals who share your sofa, and sometimes your sandwich.
Why did the cat sleep all day?
It was saving up for zooming around at midnight!
The true bit: Cats sleep for much of the day and are busiest at dawn and dusk. (VCA Animal Hospitals)
Why did the cat sit on the computer?
To keep an eye on the mouse!
The true bit: A cat's whiskers are so sensitive that they help it feel its way in the dark. (VCA Animal Hospitals)
What's a cat's favorite color?
PURR-ple!
The true bit: A slow blink is a cat's smile. Slow-blink at a cat, and it will often blink back. (University of Sussex)
Why did the cat squeeze into the tiny box?
The big box was way too roomy!
The true bit: A box to hide in helps cats feel safe. In one study, shelter cats with a hiding box calmed down faster than cats without one. (Utrecht University (Vinke, 2014))
Why did the dog lie down in the shade?
It didn't want to be a hot dog!
The true bit: Dogs sweat only a little, through their paw pads. They cool down mostly by panting. (Cornell University College of Veterinary Medicine)
Why did the dog press its nose on the window?
To sign its name!
The true bit: Every dog's nose print is different, just like your fingerprint. (VCA Animal Hospitals)
What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?
A Labracadabrador!
The true bit: A dog's nose can pick up smells far too faint for people to notice. (PBS NOVA)
How does a bunny stay cool in summer?
With EAR conditioning!
The true bit: Their large ears work like air conditioning; on hot days, they help them stay cool! (From our book Forest Animals)
Why does a bunny munch hay all day long?
So its teeth don't grow all the way down to its toes!
The true bit: A rabbit's teeth never stop growing, so it needs hay to wear them down. (RSPCA)
Why are goldfish so bad at hide-and-seek?
They can't close their eyes to count!
The true bit: Most fish have no eyelids. The water keeps their eyes wet. (NOAA National Ocean Service; Washington State University)
Why doesn't a hamster need a backpack?
It carries everything in its cheeks!
The true bit: Hamsters have stretchy cheek pouches that reach back to their shoulders. (National Geographic)
In the forest · 14 jokes10 for little ones
Some of these true bits come straight from the last page of our book Forest Animals. The fox's golf balls? Real.
Why did the fox get sent off the golf course?
It kept taking the balls home!
The true bit: Foxes enjoy playing with other animals, especially dogs and cats. And their favorite game? Stealing golf balls from humans! (From our book Forest Animals)
Why did the fox dive head first into the snow?
It heard a mouse ordering lunch!
The true bit: Foxes hear mice moving under the snow and pounce on them nose first. (US National Park Service)
What do you call an owl that does karate?
A silent ninja of the night!
The true bit: Owls are incredible hunters that excel at catching prey in the dark. They are so quiet that you'll never see them coming, like silent ninjas of the night! (From our book Forest Animals)
Why did the owl invite a friend over?
It didn't want to be OWL by itself!
The true bit: In tawny owls, "twit-twoo" is really two owls: the female calls "ke-wick" and the male answers "hoo-hoo". (Woodland Trust)
What does a mama bear find when she wakes up in spring?
A surprise: brand new babies!
The true bit: When spring arrives and mama wakes up, she'll finally meet her little ones for the first time! (From our book Forest Animals)
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
The true bit: Black bears eat mostly plants, like berries and nuts, plus some bugs. (US National Park Service)
Why did the deer jump over the school bus?
It was in too much of a hurry to wait for the doors!
The true bit: Female deer, called does or hinds, are calm creatures known for their kindness. However, when they feel threatened, they can leap as high as the top of a school bus, and even farther! (From our book Forest Animals)
Why was the stag late for school?
Its antlers got stuck in a tree!
The true bit: Male deer, also known as stags or bucks, grow impressive new antlers each year. However, these grand accessories can sometimes be a hassle. They may get tangled in tree branches and become stuck. (From our book Forest Animals)
Why don't wolves howl AT the moon?
It never howls back!
The true bit: Even though wolves don't actually howl at the moon, they're more likely to howl when it's full and bright. (From our book Forest Animals)
Why did the wild boar take its lunch to the river?
To give it a bath first!
The true bit: When they come across dirty food, they don't just eat it; they wash it carefully until it's sparkling clean! (From our book Forest Animals)
What do you call a squirrel that forgets where it hid its nuts?
A tree planter!
The true bit: Squirrels forget many of the nuts they bury, and those nuts grow into new trees. (Smithsonian Science Education Center)
What did the hedgehog say to the cactus?
"Is that you, Mom?"
The true bit: A hedgehog has thousands of spines. When it smells or tastes something new, it licks foam onto them, and scientists still don't know why! (Hedgehog Street; British Hedgehog Preservation Society)
Why does a raccoon wear a mask?
So nobody knows who ate the snacks!
The true bit: A raccoon's paws are super sensitive. It can tell what something is just by touching it, almost like seeing with its hands. (National Geographic)
Why did the skunk do a handstand?
To warn you: one more step and you'll be sorry!
The true bit: Spotted skunks do handstands as a warning, and they can even run forward upside down on their front paws. (National Wildlife Federation)
In the ocean · 14 jokes7 for little ones
Three hearts, no brain, and a dad who carries the babies. The sea is full of punchlines.
Why doesn't the tooth fairy visit sharks?
She'd run out of money!
The true bit: Some sharks go through thousands of teeth in a lifetime. (Natural History Museum, London)
What do sharks eat with peanut butter?
Jellyfish!
The true bit: Shark skin is covered in tiny tooth-like scales, so it feels like sandpaper. (NOAA Fisheries)
Why don't penguins and polar bears ever have playdates?
One lives at the bottom of the world and one at the top. That's a long walk!
The true bit: Almost all penguins live in the southern half of the world. None live at the North Pole, where the polar bears are. (Encyclopaedia Britannica)
What do penguins have for lunch?
ICE-burgers!
The true bit: Penguins "fly" underwater, using their wings like flippers. (SeaWorld)
Who gives the best hugs in the sea?
The octopus: eight arms and three hearts!
The true bit: Octopuses really have three hearts and blue blood. (Natural History Museum, London)
How does an octopus go into battle?
Well armed!
The true bit: An octopus has eight arms and no tentacles. A squid has eight arms plus two long tentacles. (Monterey Bay Aquarium)
Why was the blue whale still hungry after lunch?
It only had shrimp!
The true bit: The blue whale is the biggest animal that has ever lived, and it eats tiny shrimp-like animals called krill. (NOAA Fisheries)
Why do blue whales make such good friends?
They have the biggest hearts in the world!
The true bit: A blue whale's heart weighs about as much as a piano. (NOAA Fisheries)
Why did the dolphin cross the ocean?
To get to the other TIDE!
The true bit: Each dolphin has its own whistle that works like a name. (National Geographic; San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance)
Why do crabs walk sideways?
They're too shy to walk straight at you!
The true bit: Most crabs' legs bend best sideways, so crabs can dash left or right in a flash. (Encyclopaedia Britannica)
What did the doctor tell the sea star that lost an arm?
"Don't worry, it'll grow back!"
The true bit: Sea stars can grow back lost arms, and they are not fish at all. (NOAA National Ocean Service)
Why can't you ride a seahorse?
It's a fish, silly!
The true bit: A seahorse really is a fish, and in seahorse families, the dad carries the eggs until the babies hatch. (National Geographic Kids)
Why does a sea turtle always go back to the same beach?
She left her favorite sandcastle there!
The true bit: Mother sea turtles swim back to the beach where they hatched to lay their own eggs. (NOAA National Ocean Service)
Why are jellyfish so relaxed?
No brain, no worries!
The true bit: A jellyfish has no brain, no heart, no bones and no blood, and it's about 95% water. (NOAA National Ocean Service; Natural History Museum, London)
Jungle and savanna · 12 jokes8 for little ones
Lions on the savanna, tigers in Asia, sloths in the rainforest. We checked before we joked.
Why does a baby elephant suck its trunk?
It can't find its thumb!
The true bit: Baby elephants suck their trunks for comfort, the way children suck their thumbs. (National Geographic Kids)
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
Irrelephant!
The true bit: An elephant's trunk can work like a snorkel when it swims. (WWF UK)
Why do giraffes hum at night instead of singing?
They don't want to wake the zebras!
The true bit: Scientists have recorded giraffes humming at night. (Smithsonian Magazine)
Why do giraffes take so long to say sorry?
It takes ages to swallow their pride!
The true bit: A giraffe has seven bones in its neck, the same number as you. (Giraffe Conservation Foundation)
Why did the zebra wear its stripes to the picnic?
To keep the flies away!
The true bit: Scientists' best guess for why zebras have stripes: biting flies don't like landing on them. (Scientific Reports (2022))
The lion is called the king of the jungle. So why doesn't it live there?
Somebody gave it the wrong map!
The true bit: Most lions live on the grassy plains of Africa, not in jungles. They're the only cats that live in big family groups, called prides. (Smithsonian's National Zoo; San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance)
Why did the tiger jump into the river?
To wash its stripes!
The true bit: Many tigers love to swim, and their skin is striped too, not just their fur. (National Geographic Kids)
Why did the monkey pick up the peanut with its tail?
Its hands were busy waving hello!
The true bit: Some South American monkeys have grabbing tails that can pick up something as small as a peanut. (San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance)
Why was the sloth last in the race?
It wasn't lazy. It just had leaves for breakfast!
The true bit: Sloths aren't lazy: leaves give them very little energy, so they move slowly to save it. (Smithsonian's National Zoo)
Why did the parrot hold its crayon with its left foot?
That's its favorite foot!
The true bit: Parrots have a favorite foot, just like you have a favorite hand. (San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance)
What does a baby crocodile say inside its egg?
"Is it time yet? Is it time yet?"
The true bit: Baby crocodiles grunt and bark from inside their eggs. Then mom carries them to the water, gently, in her mouth. (San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance)
Why doesn't the hippo bring sunscreen to the river?
It makes its own. In red!
The true bit: A hippo's red "sweat" works as a sunscreen. And hippos can't swim: they walk and bounce along the river bottom. (San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance)
Bugs and garden · 7 jokes5 for little ones
Small, busy and surprisingly funny. Get down low and listen.
Why did the gardener throw a party for the ladybug?
It ate all the bugs that were eating her plants!
The true bit: One ladybug can eat thousands of bugs, like aphids, the little bugs that hurt plants. (National Geographic Kids)
Why did the butterfly stand on the birthday cake?
To taste it!
The true bit: Butterflies have taste sensors on their feet. (Florida Museum of Natural History)
What do you call a really, really big ant?
An eleph-ANT!
The true bit: Ants can carry things much heavier than themselves, and the ants you see marching are almost all sisters. (National Geographic Kids; Arizona State University, Ask A Biologist)
Why did the spider buy four pairs of sneakers?
It has eight feet!
The true bit: Spiders have eight legs, not six. They are arachnids, not insects. (San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance)
Why did the snail stay in bed all week?
It was waiting for a rainy day!
The true bit: When it's hot and dry, snails seal themselves inside their shells and take a long rest. (UC Statewide IPM Program)
Why do bees hum?
They don't know the words!
The true bit: Honeybees don't need words: they do a "waggle dance" to tell the hive where the flowers are. (University of Sussex)
Why did the firefly get top marks at school?
It was very bright!
The true bit: Fireflies are beetles, and they flash their lights to find each other. (US National Park Service)
Knock-knock · 5 jokes1 for little ones
Someone's at the door. It might be a cow. It's definitely going to interrupt you.
Knock knock.Who's there?Interrupting cow.Interrupting c...
MOO!
The true bit: A cow has one big stomach with four parts, and she brings her grass back up to chew it again. (Mississippi State University Extension)
Knock knock.Who's there?Who.Who who?
Is there an owl in here?
The true bit: Owls can't move their eyes, so they turn their heads instead, up to three quarters of the way around. (National Audubon Society)
Knock knock.Who's there?Wood.Wood who?
Wood you let me in? I'm a woodpecker, I could knock all day!
The true bit: When it's tucked away, a woodpecker's tongue wraps all the way around the back of its skull. (American Bird Conservancy)
Knock knock.Who's there?Goat.Goat who?
Goat to the door and find out!
The true bit: A goat's pupils are rectangular. When it bends down to eat, its eyes roll so the pupils stay level and it can keep watching for danger. (UC Berkeley; Zoo Atlanta)
Knock knock.Who's there?Lettuce.Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, the bunnies are hungry!
The true bit: Rabbits should eat mostly hay and grass, with leafy greens. Carrots are only a treat. (RSPCA)
Free, no sign-up
Eight lunchbox cards to a page, each with its animal. The punchline is printed upside down and the true bit runs along the bottom, so a child can read, guess and flip the card on their own. The black and white version has line drawings to color in afterwards.
Free for home, classroom and library use. Please share the link to this page rather than the file.
All 84 animal jokes
84 cards · 11 pages
Farm animal jokes
21 cards · 3 pages
Picture jokes for little ones
48 cards · 6 pages
Your turn
Children are brilliant at this, because they don't mind a terrible pun. Three steps:
Pick an animal your child loves.
Find the sound it makes, or a word hiding in its name. Moo becomes MOO-vies. Owl becomes OWL by myself.
Add one true fact. Pigs roll in mud because it works as sunscreen. So why did the pig roll in the mud? It forgot its sunscreen!
What the research says
A laugh is a good start, and talking about the joke afterwards is where the thinking happens. These are small studies, mostly with school-age children, so we keep the claims small too.
Even toddlers know a joke from a mistake. Two and three year olds make up their own jokes, mostly silly names and silly pictures. That's why the little ones' jokes here are pictures, not puns.
Puns come later, and that's normal. Most 4 and 5 year olds laugh at a pun before they can explain it. Explaining the joke together is part of the fun.
Double meanings are good thinking practice. In small classroom studies, 7 to 9 year olds who talked through joking riddles and words with two meanings got better at understanding what they read.
Kids want books that make them laugh. When children pick a book, “it makes me laugh” is the top thing they look for.
Scholastic Kids and Family Reading Report, 2015; 2019 edition
Questions
The book · ages 3 to 6
A whole book of rhyming who-am-I riddles about nine farm animals. Guess who is talking, then scan the page with a phone or tablet and the answer steps out into your room.
9 animals come aliveEveryone shushes the rabbit with the big ears. Then the rabbit hears a cry for help.
